A friend once told me, "Finding a wife, to me at least, is like finding a twenty-dollar bill. If you're walking along and you see it on the ground, you're ecstatic and feel so fortunate to have found it. But, you know, if you don't find one on the ground, you don't despair. You're not expecting it, so there's nothing to be sad about. You just keep going on with your life, minus twenty dollars, but you feel no loss at all."
I'm terribly terrible at remembering people's exact words, but I think this is more or less the big chunk of it.
At first, I found these words very... what's the word... unromantic? Comparing the love of your life to a twenty-dollar bill is a little demeaning, if I am using the term correctly. I think finding a one hundred dollar bill might be a bit better, or perhaps a nice watch.
But looking back on those sentences now, I feel like there is some wisdom inside them. I think that there is some dignity in going through life without expecting a wedding ring to be on your finger and a cheery little wife by your side. If all that happens, then great. But to not expect it, that is something special, even noble. And I think that, in my case, this is a safe way to live.
I honestly don't feel like I could be a good boyfriend, let alone husband. I have spent too long embracing immaturity. I feel like I would end up being the grumpy old man on the couch that can never remember his wedding anniversary and the only question that I ask my wife is, "Is dinner ready yet?"
I feel like I need to get more in touch with myself and more in touch with God and find out what love is.
I have a line in a play called Emma. "How many a man has committed himself after such a short acquaintance and rued it the rest of his life." I feel like if I commit myself to somebody within the next eight to ten years, I shall rue it the rest of my life, just like Frank Churchill says. And I believe that if I go through those eight to ten years expecting to find a twenty-dollar bill on the ground, things won't end up so well for me. I believe finding a wife will be so much more meaningful and beautiful if I set out in life with the purpose of not looking for her. Perhaps then I might be a bit less grumpy and self-centered and be a bit more loving and husband-like.
Until that day, I shall live my life.
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I think the best thing you could do is live every day for Jesus and work on that relationship Him. Knowing Gods love and learning how to show Him that you love Him back is a beautiful life fulfilling thing.
ReplyDeleteJohn 14:21
Those who accept my commandments and obey them are the ones who love me. And because they love me, my Father will love them. And I will love them and reveal myself to each of them.
In the meantime, don't be wary about asking God for what you want (like a wife some day), it doesn't hurt to ask (and if you don't get it you don't get it, like you said you go about your life), and if you don't ask you -might- not get whatever it is you hope for, so ask! :) You don't have to be looking to ask.
Psalm 20:4 May he grant your heart’s desires and make all your plans succeed.
Well, thanks for reading this. :P
It's like this: When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child does. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God knows me now. There are three things that will endure--faith, hope, and love--and the greatest of these is love.
ReplyDelete1 Corinthians 13:11-13
I couldn't help but think of you when I was reading this last night. What I get from it is that the day we grow up things become less clear and they always will be until the day we die when all is revealed but keep comfort in knowing that God knows us completely and will always guide us to what is right for our lives. So through out our lives things will be rough and not everything will last but love will never die. See 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 for the definition of love.
1 Corinthians 14:1 says Let love be your highest goal. (So not success, not money, not fame but love.)
I don't know if this helps at all but I thought I'd give it a go. :) I definitely think it's great that you don't expect something from God (but you can always hope) and that you realize not to rush into things. So, props to you? I don't even know what props are but they must be good.
Thanks for reading this even though you didn't ask for what I thought! Haha. :P
thanks Sara.
ReplyDeleteHelps alot.
But i think you misunderstood me. I neither expect God to do these things nor really hope for him to do them either. I actually hope the opposite, that God will keep me single for a really long time.
Anyways...thanks :)
But I do agree with you. Discovering God's love for me and learning how to love God more and more is a beautiful, life-fulfilling thing, and if that's the only thing I accomplish in this world, then I shall have lived a life more meaningful than anything else in the world. And you're right. It doesn't hurt to ask. I ask God for stupid things all the time that don't really matter, like an A on a bible paper about abortion or to win a soccer game. And he answers these prayers simply because he loves me. You're very right, and I hope I didn't give you the wrong impression :)
ReplyDeleteYou have not rubbed me the wrong way if that's what you mean. It's good to discuss these things with friends and I appreciate your unique insight on life. Hope all is well for you Isaac. I'm looking forward to your cd. :)
ReplyDelete