There are times I simply want to tell God, "God, No more sinning out of me ever again. I promise. Somehow, i don't know how, but somehow I'll make myself pure. I'll make myself holy, somebody worthy of the sacrifice you've given me."
Sometimes i just get sick of the fact that i'm so full of these faults. They haunt me every day when I'm awake, every night when I sleep. They're always there, the memories, the regrets- I shouldn't have done that, but I did it. Or, i should've done that, but I didn't.
I just wish i could give God more, something exceptional- be someone who can keep his promises, at least to GOD, if nobody else. Be faultless, give God the glory he deserves through my exceptional purity and holiness.
But I can't be, and I never will be faultless, at least here. As long as I have a choice, 80% of the time i will choose wrongly.
This is NOT how God made me. This is how I made me.
The whole concept of "choices" was all a result of man's creation. If you think about it, Man was the first creature that was given the decision to either follow "natural" instinct, or follow after God- something that is now quite unnatural to us human beings. And for a while in the garden, both of those instincts were parallel- Adam could follow both instincts without sinning. But now, things are different. My natural instinct is to sin, and my unnatural instinct is to follow God. The choice is there now, and- maybe i'm strange- but the natural instinct is so much more attractive.
God made me for the purpose of being faultless, i mean that's how i will end up at the very end of all things- faultless in Heaven in my new body before my God, praising his name over and over again for all eternity. God's ultimate purpose for man is to be faultless worshipers of Him in the end, and i think that is simply beautiful, something only he could think up for us to do for all eternity and never get bored.
I guess the truth is, faultlessness is for later- I will never achieve it by myself here on this earth. I will keep on sinning, and God will keep on forgiving. That's the way God thinks it's best. Don't get me wrong- I hope i never take advantage of God's forgiveness- i think i have already. But I dont believe i will ever stop sinning. And God understands. That's why he made salvation such a no-brainer. "Believe in me, and I will save you. Love me, and I will know you (1 Cor. 8:3)"
Sometimes i just get sick of the fact that i'm so full of these faults. They haunt me every day when I'm awake, every night when I sleep. They're always there, the memories, the regrets- I shouldn't have done that, but I did it. Or, i should've done that, but I didn't.
I just wish i could give God more, something exceptional- be someone who can keep his promises, at least to GOD, if nobody else. Be faultless, give God the glory he deserves through my exceptional purity and holiness.
But I can't be, and I never will be faultless, at least here. As long as I have a choice, 80% of the time i will choose wrongly.
This is NOT how God made me. This is how I made me.
The whole concept of "choices" was all a result of man's creation. If you think about it, Man was the first creature that was given the decision to either follow "natural" instinct, or follow after God- something that is now quite unnatural to us human beings. And for a while in the garden, both of those instincts were parallel- Adam could follow both instincts without sinning. But now, things are different. My natural instinct is to sin, and my unnatural instinct is to follow God. The choice is there now, and- maybe i'm strange- but the natural instinct is so much more attractive.
God made me for the purpose of being faultless, i mean that's how i will end up at the very end of all things- faultless in Heaven in my new body before my God, praising his name over and over again for all eternity. God's ultimate purpose for man is to be faultless worshipers of Him in the end, and i think that is simply beautiful, something only he could think up for us to do for all eternity and never get bored.
I guess the truth is, faultlessness is for later- I will never achieve it by myself here on this earth. I will keep on sinning, and God will keep on forgiving. That's the way God thinks it's best. Don't get me wrong- I hope i never take advantage of God's forgiveness- i think i have already. But I dont believe i will ever stop sinning. And God understands. That's why he made salvation such a no-brainer. "Believe in me, and I will save you. Love me, and I will know you (1 Cor. 8:3)"
Thus I conclude my Christian Ramblings.
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